50 Funny Self-Care Quotes For A Good Laugh
Ever noticed how self-care advice sometimes sounds like it was written by someone who has never had to choose between meditation and that last slice of pizza?
Let’s face it – real self-care isn’t always about green smoothies and sunrise yoga. Sometimes it’s about laughing at ourselves while we figure out this whole “taking care of me” thing.
Whether you’re a self-care guru or someone who thinks face masks are just fancy leftovers stuck to your face, these 50 hilarious quotes will remind you that the path to wellness doesn’t always have to be serious.
After all, laughter is the best medicine – unless you need antibiotics, then please take those instead.

Before we jump in, if you’re looking for ways to use these quotes, here are some ideas:
- Create a graphic in Canva and then share it on social media
- Write your fave funny quote in your journal or planner
- Share with a friend who needs a mood boost
- Save this post to Pinterest to come back to later (you can easily save one of the pins below)
Now, let’s get into it!

50 Funny Self-Care Quotes To Make You Laugh
- “My idea of self-care is ordering extra guacamole and not feeling guilty about it.”
- “Self-care is giving yourself permission to have cake for breakfast because you’re an adult and no one can stop you.”
- “Sometimes my self-care routine is just lying on the floor pretending to be a starfish.”
- “I’m not lazy, I’m practicing horizontal life optimization.”
- “Self-care tip: Delete that person’s number. No, the other person. No, ALL of them.”
- “My meditation technique involves counting pizza slices instead of breaths.”
- “Self-care is buying those fancy tissues with lotion in them because your nose deserves luxury.”
- “Today’s self-care activity: Telling my anxiety to kindly shut up and take a vacation.”
- “I’m not avoiding people, I’m just maximizing my me-time potential.”
- “Self-care is wearing matching socks and feeling like you’ve got your entire life together.”
- “My skincare routine is mostly just splashing water on my face and hoping for the best.”
- “Self-care achievement unlocked: Changed out of yesterday’s pajamas into today’s pajamas.”
- “I practice self-care by giving myself permission to leave the party before anyone starts suggesting karaoke.”
- “My version of mindfulness is remembering where I put my phone while using it.”
- “Self-care is adding vegetables to your pizza and calling it a balanced meal.”
- “I’m not procrastinating, I’m marinating in my own potential.”
- “Self-care tip: Sometimes saying ‘no’ is better than saying ‘yes’ and silently plotting revenge.”
- “My therapy session today was just me talking to my cat for an hour.”
- “Self-care is setting your alarm for 6 AM and then proudly turning it off at 5:59 AM.”
- “I’m not stress-eating, I’m emotionally nourishing myself.”
- “My meditation mantra is ‘Where did I put my keys? Where did I put my keys?'”
- “Self-care is declaring your bathroom the ‘Zen Zone’ and hiding there when guests overstay.”
- “I practice self-love by accepting that my laundry pile is now a permanent art installation.”
- “Self-care is giving yourself permission to watch just one more episode… five times in a row.”
- “My wellness journey today consisted of successfully avoiding all my responsibilities.”
- “Self-care is pretending your bed is a cocoon and you’re about to emerge as a beautiful butterfly… tomorrow.”
- “I’m not avoiding exercise, I’m conserving energy for future emergencies.”
- “Self-care is eating the last cookie and blaming it on the dog… even though you don’t have a dog.”
- “My mindfulness practice includes mindfully ignoring all my notifications.”
- “Self-care is buying a fancy planner and using it as a very expensive coaster.”
- “I’m not talking to myself, I’m having a self-care conference.”
- “Self-care is setting boundaries, like telling yourself ‘No more coffee’ after your sixth cup.”
- “My relaxation technique is organizing my Netflix watchlist instead of watching anything.”
- “Self-care is treating yourself to a spa day at home, which means wearing a face mask while doing dishes.”
- “I achieve inner peace by pretending my deadlines are just friendly suggestions.”
- “Self-care is writing inspirational quotes on sticky notes and losing them immediately.”
- “My version of yoga is stretching to reach the TV remote without getting up.”
- “Self-care is buying fresh vegetables and watching them slowly become compost in your fridge.”
- “I practice positive affirmations like ‘I probably won’t mess this up too badly.'”
- “Self-care is setting up a morning routine and religiously following it… starting next Monday.”
- “My meditation space is wherever I accidentally zone out for 20 minutes.”
- “Self-care is unfollowing everyone who makes you feel bad about not running marathons.”
- “I’m not disorganized, I’m creating opportunities for future self-discovery.”
- “Self-care is buying a gym membership and using it exclusively for the smoothie bar.”
- “My emotional support snack drawer understands me better than any human ever could.”
- “Self-care is setting three different alarms and ignoring all of them with equal dedication.”
- “I practice gratitude by thanking myself for not sending that text I typed out.”
- “Self-care is calling it a ‘digital detox’ when you accidentally drop your phone in the toilet.”
- “My self-improvement plan includes accepting that sometimes ‘good enough’ is perfect.”
- “Self-care is buying a plant and promising to do better this time.”